
En cuanto acaben las finales toda la atención se va a ir a dónde demonios va a acabar jugando King James el próximo año.  Hace un año les pude haber firmado que acabaría en los Knicks, ahora no estoy tan seguro.  Sin embargo, entre todos los rumores de que Cleveland va a firmar a Calipari o a Izzo de Michigan State como coaches, él a Chicago con Wade, etc., me encontré con esta maravilla.
Me imagino que saben que los Harlem Globetrotters siempre jugaban contra un equipo que ya sabía que iba a perder.  He ahí lo gracioso de cuando Krusty apuesta en contra de los Globetrotters. Pues bueno, ese equipo fue por muchos años los Washington Generals.  Y ahora, en tiempos de especulación, rumores y mucha expectativa, los Generals salen al ruedo por LeBron James.
Aquí está la increíble carta que le mandaron, léanla completa, lo vale:
King James,  
This off-season you  have the unique opportunity to decide your NBA future. It's a decision  not to be taken lightly. While other franchises have surfaced in the  rumor mill—New York, Chicago, Miami, along with heading back to  Cleveland—we think you'd be doing yourself a disservice without  considering another alternative. Namely us, the Washington Generals.    
Let's consider the  other contenders for a moment. We can take Cleveland off the list right  away because, let's face it, it's not going to happen. And no matter  what you accomplish with the Bulls, you're always going to be playing  under Jordan's long tongue-wagging shadow; good luck getting them to  un-retire 23. As far as the Heat are concerned, Dwayne Wade's already  led them to the promised land. Even if you win a championship with them,  he'll always be the Moses to your whatever-prophet-followed-Moses;  there's a reason none of us know his name. But us? In our franchise  history, we only have a single game with a 'W' next to it.    
Help us get our  second.    
(Note: We're not even  going to insult your intelligence by suggesting we're worse off than the  Knicks. We're not. We can't compete with their ineptitude.)   
But forget about the  negatives of the other franchises for a moment. We're not going to sell  ourselves by deriding the opposition. Instead, let's focus on the  largest thing we have going for us: no salary cap.    
Unlike those fools in  the NBA, we can offer you a much larger sum of money. How much larger?  How does one billion dollars sound? Sounds great, right? Of  course it sounds great. It's a billion dollars. Unfortunately, we don't  have a billion dollars. We don't even have a million. But, you know, if  we did have the billion dollars, we totally would be able  to offer it to you. That's got to count for something.   
So, in lieu of actual  money, we're going to have to get a bit more "creative" in regards to  the contract we're offering. Consider this just a little taste of the  swag you'll be getting:   
• Front-row tickets to  every Generals game for your entourage (up to 20 a night), along with a  pre-game buffet with all-they-can-eat hot dogs, popcorn and sodas and a  post-game party featuring a clown that will make any balloon animal  upon request.  
• Use of the T-shirt  cannon on non-game days.  
• A free jersey in  your choice of size. 
• Lucrative,  commission-based endorsement deal with Jim's Muffler Shop, the official  Muffler Shop of the Washington Generals. 
• Access to the  high-in-demand last row of seats on the team's traveling bus, allowing  you the ability to put your feet up and first access to the rear  emergency exit. 
• Getting to pick the  teammate you room with while we're on the road (for obvious reasons, we  suggest staying away from Freddy "Slip n' Slide" Clemens). 
• Being the first to  order your meal every night of the week, whether we're dining at The  Sizzler, Olive Garden or Red Lobster. 
• You can play  whatever position you want, for as long as you want, and for whatever  coach you want. Want to play for Jay Tarses, the actor who played the  coach in Teen Wolf? There's no reason we can think of why we  won't be able to make that happen!    
Also, how about this? A  lifetime no-trade clause! While with us, you'll never have to worry  about us stabbing you in the back—unlike, say, the NBA who, rumor has  it, is going to be opening franchises in frigid Alaska and war-torn  Afghanistan soon—and trading you to the rival Globetrotters. You'll be a  Washington General for as long as you want. Life, even!   
Now, we know our  league offers a few disadvantages to the NBA game you're used to. We're  not nearly as popular, playing to half-empty stadiums on a nightly  basis. The marketing opportunities aren't nearly as lucrative as you're  used to, aside from the aforementioned Jim's Muffler Shop deal. And,  it's true, we've been known to have our own fair share of problems  regarding accurate officiating (although, that's one area where we're  debatably better off than the NBA). But if you give our offer more than  just a cursory glance, you'll realize this is a golden opportunity for  you to give back to the sport you love and become a role model to  thousands of children who will see you on a nightly basis.   
Also of note, there's  tons of MILFs at every game.  
So c'mon! It'll be  fun!     
Eagerly awaiting your  reply,
The Washington Generals
Grandiosa.  La encontré en mcsweeneys.net  Si quieren leerla ahí para que no se sienta tanto mi plagio, 
aquí el link.  
"Use of the T-shirt  cannon on non-game days."  Wonderful.